Beginning the new year

The New Year is Among Us!

Ok, here we are, most of us back to work or starting again tomorrow. Back to school and to the reality of every day life chores and business. Are you already feeling the stresses of your situations? Are you feeling the pressure that comes from having to be on time, driving the kids from place to place, dealing with neighbor issues, in-laws, employers/employees expectations, a bad marriage, step children, teenagers, a rude comment, a job loss, grief, a broken relationship, and the list goes on and on.

Of course, if these types of circumstances are what we are tied to then it has every possibility of determining our day, week or life. It can steal our joy right from underneath us, without us even realizing it. We don’t even notice until it is too late.

We should not allow these things to be our constant focus. Surely, we have to think about them in order to resolve them, but we need to begin the process of letting go of them and focusing on the good in our lives. We all have good, no matter how bad it looks.

I, for one, have many good things in my life:

*I love what I do

*I have two perfect grandchildren!

*Great kids

*An amazing daughter-in-law

*A beautiful home

*Good friendships

*A good church

*Nice clothes and lots of shoes!

*A decent brain that can process through issues, conflict, and a heart that wants to serve others.

Now, do I focus on these great things in my life? Nope! I focus in on what irritates me, what makes me angry, the things I can’t have, the distance between me and others, and so much more.

Do I want to change this? Of course I do, more than anything.

A good first step might be changing the bad attitude to an attitude of gratitude. I know, you’ve heard that before. It is true though. Be grateful for that which you are blessed with. Make a list for yourself. Thank others more often for how they have played a role in your life.

Another step might be doing something nice for someone else each week. If you are married, this would be a great project for the two of you. Call up your spouse as soon as you are done reading this and ask, “What and who can we do something nice for this week?”. You should do these types of things at least every week together. It helps you to see how good the two of you have it. It helps others out. It brings you and your partner closer together.

Another great step is doing something to improve yourself. If there are things that are really concerning you, find someone else who can help you or someone to hold you accountable to do what you need to do to make change. Stop talking about change, and simply, change. Be bold and don’t let fear slow you down. You can do it! It is so hard for us to self motivate, so the key in those cases will be doing it with another person. This person has to be someone you trust and who will push you in a positive way.

Just more thoughts on having a terrific new year!

Alicia Eidson MA, M.F.T.

Renewing Hearts Inc.

   Director of Clinical Services

University of Central Florida

   Professor of Marriage and Intimate Relationships

Seminole State College of florida

   Professor of Human Sexuality

407-252-1818

www.renewinghearts.org

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